my adventures in minutia

The baby of the family turned four today. He promised he would stay three, but the idea of birthday cake and presents was too much to resist, so he went ahead and turned four, but promised me that he will stay here forever.
I’m going to do my best to hold him to that.

We had a family party here today. His only requests were 1) His cousins would be there, and, 2) A carrot cake with a picture of an alligator eating a carrot on top. Oh, and his name. Oh, and fire on it.
I thought it would be fun to have a ‘make your own pizza’ dinner, so that’s what we did.

Beck was so excited for everyone to arrive and I think it made him feel like a superstar that they were all here for him.

At four, Beck is:
Full of personality. He is the only one of my boys that isn’t shy, and his lack of shyness more than compensates for the other two. He will talk to anyone that will listen, and, even some people who don’t.
He is independent, and stubborn. He is sweet and precious one minute, then full of spice and hell-fire the next.
He loves to cuddle in the middle of the day for no particular reason, loves his “soft” and his thumb. He’ll follow his brothers anywhere and fills our home with life and light (and noise).

I took these photos of him earlier in the day, and may I just say, he was utterly uncooperative.

Just before I took this one, he said, “This is too boring. You are taking too many pictures.” That pretty much ended our session. But he still looks cute to me. I love that little face.

I LOVE turquoise. And, since it’s the month of love and hearts, I thought I’d give away something made with these turquoise hearts that I found at a gem fair. I don’t usually love to wear hearts, but I fell completely in love with these. Each one has such beautiful markings, they are the perfect size.
Details about the bracelet can be found HERE.
You’ll choose silver or copper, whichever you like best!
As always, a comment is an entry, a link to show my button on your blog is another entry.
Contest ends Wednesday-ish.

It was posed to me like this:
What do I do for happiness, peace and joy on a daily basis?
My original response went like this…
I create. I am still. I go outside.

I know that seems overly simple, but that is my formula.
And, here is the part I’m admitting to you all:
I didn’t even think of the kids first.

How much I love my kids goes without saying. I could elaborate about the little things they do that put a smile on my face, or tell you about how it makes my heart sing when they show love to each other. I could share stories of sweet moments that make everything worthwhile. I could tell you how motherhood is such a joy and how I savor each moment with my kids, but the truth is, they drive me bonkers so much of the time. I think it’s great that some people find their greatest happiness in their role as mother. If we’re talking about the big picture, then I think I could put myself into that category, but, I don’t live in the big picture. I live in a teeny-tiny picture. And, on a day to day basis… being a mom is a huge sacrifice.
Does that make me sound awful?
Well, if it does, then I’m awful. Motherhood is truly a refiner’s fire for me. My character flaws are on constant parade before my eyes. I struggle to just be nice to my kids on some days. Many days.

I sometimes feel like the world is leaving me behind. I feel downright jealous that there are “mom photographers” that seem to be able to have it all and manage just fine. And, I mean like, real, eat at my gut jealousy. I miss that world so much. But, I am at peace with my choice.
I miss freedom! I look forward to alone time like a kid looks forward to Christmas. I miss being selfish with my time and energy. It’s hard when there are little boys demanding my attention at all hours of the day. It’s even irritating sometimes….much of the time.
And while I wouldn’t change one single thing about my life now, there are some things that I have to do in order to maintain sanity. There are a few things I need to do to keep myself happy and able to give these three boys a mother worthy and ready to raise their sweet little souls.
So, what I came up with is:
I create. I am still. I go outside.

And Shannon was right, a daily dose of Mountain Dew helps too.

What makes you happy?
I have this friend who posed this question to me. She said, “You’re not allowed to say my children, my religion, my husband…” That’s not what she was asking.
She asked me how I like staying home with my boys instead of working full time. The question was something like this, “…and that’s enough for you?”
So, the question is, what makes me happy on a day to day basis? What makes me smile, what makes my pulse quicken, what gets me excited?
Not the BIG things. Not the obvious things.
I thought for a moment, and then I came up with a simple three word answer.
I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.

I think it went ok today. I ran out of time, and was unable to go through all of the info, but it was all on a handout, so hopefully, people will read it on their own. I was amazed at how fast the time went by!
I thought I would post it here in case anyone is interested.

I began by projecting this picture…

On a trip to San Fransisco with a friend, it was unseasonably warm for January, so we decided to rent a couple of bikes, and ride among other places, across the Golden Gate Bridge.
I was mostly concentrating on not crashing into other cyclists, but I noticed a girl standing on the bridge, palms together, fingers pointed heavenward, eyes closed, face tilted to the sun. She was praying aloud. I couldn’t hear what she said, but I wondered what prompted her to get off her bike and offer up a prayer.
I looked to see the scene that inspired her so much and saw what’s in that picture.

This moment really stood out to me for several reasons. One was, that I was going to ride right past this scene and pay it no attention. I appreciated that another person was prompted by it to offer a prayer. I wondered what her prayer was about.
As I look at this picture, I see the vastness of the ocean. The color of the water, the way the ocean fades into the sky seeming to go on forever. I see how tiny and insignificant that sail boat is in comparison to it’s surroundings. I wondered if the girl was praying because she felt like the boat…small, insignificant and lost… maybe seeking guidance.
Or, she could have been offering a prayer of gratitude. Standing on this amazing feat of a bridge, overlooking such a breath taking view, feeling the sun on her face and smelling the air as it rose off the water.

Whatever it was, she stopped and took notice.

We have been blessed with such an abundance of beauty all around us. In every season, everywhere we look, there is something worthy of, if not a photograph, then at least of our attention.

And that’s what this slide show is about.

If you’re interested in the rest of the class and reading what the handout said, click HERE.

Well. Tomorrow is the day of this Women’s Conference where I’ll be teaching a photography class. I am so nervous/excited.
I have put together a slide show and a presentation that I’m really excited to share. If it goes well, I will try to figure out how to post it here. But, I’m too keyed up right now to try. I think I’m going to paint my nails instead.
But, for now, here’s a pic I took yesterday to take with me to the conference. I really like these bottles. I bought them at a thrift store for $2 and I’ve yet to figure out something to do with them…

The little guy got a balloon at the craft store this morning. It was orange. He wanted the green one, but I made him say thank you and deal with orange because I knew that this balloon wasn’t going to be in his possession for very long.
He loves to let them go the minute we get outside.
He says, “Up and up and up!”

I had my camera with me this morning because as I mentioned earlier in the week, I’m looking for beauty to photograph everywhere I go.
I thought his balloon release might make a fun photo.

As he released it into the sky, he said, “Bye balloon!, I hope you find Molly! She can play with you in heaven.”

I got a bit teary then, because it’s still a tender thing. And then he said, “It’s ok Mom. Jesus is taking care of Molly now.”

I was boycotting Costco for a while. They made me mad. I even e-mailed the company to complain. Turns out, they are Costco and they don’t care about my piddly complaints. So, I quit going, let my membership expire and tried to forget about the great cheese prices and the giant packs of AA batteries.
I cheated a few times, and had friends buy stuff for me there. Lemons, garlic, books. After about five months, I decided that they were not going to come crawling back to me any time soon and I was only hurting myself. I caved and renewed my membership, and can I just tell you that it felt so good to be back in that store!
So yesterday, I made a trip there. I had a few things on my list: cheese, light bulbs, eggs, rotisserie chicken, Mickey Mouse-shaped-chicken nuggets… you know, basics. I was shopping alone (yay!) so I was in and out in record time. After I loaded my purchases into my truck, and was pushing my cart to the front of the store, I heard a man’s voice say, “Hey! Ma’am!”
I turned to see an elderly man parked nearby smiling and waving at me.
He said, “You’ve got something on your bottom!”
I paused to make sure he was talking to me. He was. With a big smile, again, he said, “You’ve got something on your bottom!”
I was a little embarrassed, and reached around to brush off my backside. I remember thinking, Why is this creepy, smiley, old dude checking out my butt?
Since I didn’t feel anything on my bottom, I just continued on pushing my cart to the front of the store, all the while trying to think if I sat down on something dirty, or did I use a bathroom and have toilet paper hanging out of my pants.
That persistent old guy then said even louder, “Hey ma’am! You’ve got something on your bottom!”
Then it hit me.
Oh. Right. The bottom of my cart.
Sure enough, there was my rotisserie chicken.
I smiled and waved and said, “Thanks.” Sorry for thinking you were a creepy old guy staring at my backside.

un

deux

I’m getting ready for a photography class this coming weekend, and in addition to going through my files for pictures to use in a slide show presentation, I am taking new pictures to illustrate my thoughts and philosophies. I have those, you know….thoughts and philosophies. I even have theories.
I thought it would be fun to post some of them every day this week. My slide show is about finding beauty. Sometimes in not-so-obvious places.

So, guess what I spent Wednesday afternoon doing?
You’re wrong.
Guess again.
Okay, I’ll just tell you.
I was watching Beyonce’s Single Ladies video over and over again so I could learn the dance.
Watch…pause…try…rewind…watch…pause…try…
I’m teaching it to the 16-18 year old girls at church (did I mention I’m back with the youth?) There’s a youth talent show in two weeks, and we’re going to blow the doors off that thing.
I changed some of the, um….more suggestive movements, and NO, I am not going to wear a leotard. But, we’re all going to wear flashy, light-up rings that I found on the internet today. FLASHY LIGHT UP RINGS!

In other news, Kelly D. let me cut his hair yesterday. He let me do it once 14 years ago, and at one point, I said, “Uh-oh” followed by much laughter and pointing, to which he replied, “Dude, this is never happening again.”
But, all these years later, I have earned back his trust. It looks pretty good if I do say so.

Lastly, if you could all do me a huge favor, I am trying to talk Kelly D. into buying me a blow torch. I am learning the art of silversmithing, and I cannot go further without one. Send e-mails, texts, phone calls…. whatever it takes.
Thanks ever so much.

Dear Josh (Fish, Fishy, Fish taco, Fish face, Sharky, Tiger Shark, Francis, Frenchy, Francois, etc…)
Yesterday you turned 9. NINE! Nine years and two days ago, I was in a car on my way to the hospital, crying. Crying because I was afraid of giving birth, but mostly crying for fear of the unknown. I wasn’t qualified then to be a mother. (still don’t think I am, but that’s another story).
But here we are.
I have never experienced such a range of emotions in my life since becoming your mother, most especially the head-over-heels, adoring, love I feel for you.
I know that I expect too much of you almost all the time, but it’s only because I know how smart and capable you are. I sometimes worry that I am damaging our relationship because lately it feels like we argue too much. I hope you don’t remember those times as much as you remember the good things, like when we just sit on my bed and talk about everything.
That is my favorite thing about you at this age. You are so fun to just talk to. I love hearing about things you notice in friends at school, or about what interests you in books you read. I love hearing your observations of the world and answering your endless questions. You delight me.

Yesterday we had a birthday party for you and some of your friends. Before everyone arrived, you sat me down and made a few requests.
One: Could I please take down that picture of your little brother playing the piano naked. You said you didn’t want to be known as “the kid with naked pictures all over his house.”
Two: Can we please leave the radio in the car off on the way to the laser tag place. When I asked why, you said, “Because I’ve never been to a birthday where the mom has the radio blasting and sings and dances in the car.” Already, I’m embarrassing you! But, just for the record, I wouldn’t have done any singing or dancing in front of your friends.
I asked you if you’d like to pick out my outfit for me, and you rolled your eyes at me. You’re good at that. But, then you paused and said, “Well, wait… what are you wearing?”
Then it was my turn to roll my eyes.

Today, when I was taking these pictures of you, there was one point when I was looking closely at your face to check my camera’s focus, and I almost cried. Your face looked just like it did when you were three. There it was, right in front of me. The same red lips, the same arched eyebrows that are like little rainbows above your sparkly, blue eyes. I know we mothers always say this, but seriously… where is the time going?
I love you so much Joshua. I am so lucky to be your mom.

Guess what? I have a new recipe for you! Be excited because it’s so yummy.
I know that I haven’t posted any new recipes for my usual Sunday Dinner posts, but it’s because I’ve been on this crazy diet and trust me when I tell you that you DO NOT want to be eating what I’ve been eating.
It’s my friend Erin’s recipe. And, if she says it’s good, then it is. So, I made it for a little shin-dig I had over here on Tuesday night.
And, it was good.
I have had it for lunch everyday since then, and once for dinner.
It’s too easy to merit my usual step-by-step photos, so without further ado (and just so you know, I totally researched this and it’s ado, not adieu) , I give you…

Tarragon Chicken Salad

(salad)
1 rotisserie chicken, meat removed and shredded
3 stalks celery, thinly sliced
1/2 C. chopped pickles or cornichons
2 green onions, thinly sliced
2 T. chopped, fresh tarragon (dried will do, but use half the amount)
2 T. mayo
salt and pepper
*In a medium bowl, mix together all but the mayo. Toss mixture with mayo and vinaigrette. Serve immediately or refrigerate up to 2 days.

(vinaigrette)
1 T. grainy mustard
2 T. honey
2 T. white wine vinegar
1/2 C. extra virgin olive oil
*Place all ingredients in a glass jar or salad dressing mixer. Seal tightly and shake until emulsified. Use immediately or keep refrigerated for up to one week.

I rolled mine up in a whole wheat tortilla. As my three-year-old would say, “Yumzilla”.

As a fun way to kick off winter break this year, I made a breakfast menu for each of the boys, and when it was time for breakfast, I called them all into the kitchen and handed them out. I said, “Hi, I’m Kelly, and I’ll be your waitress this morning. Would you like me to tell you about our specials?”
The boys were all smiles.
They each got to choose their own breakfast just like a real restaurant. I gave them paper and crayons to color on while they waited, and I checked back with them to see if breakfast was to their liking.

I was kidding with them about leaving me a tip for good service, so I scribbled the word ‘Tips’ on a mason jar and set it on the counter where they could see. They scrounged up some loose change and dropped it in the jar. They said things like, “Good job, Mom.” or “We’ll be coming here again.”

I put the menus away for another day and pushed the tip jar to the back of the counter.
The next day, after lunch, T said, “That was a really good turkey sandwich, Mom”, then he walked over to the tip jar, plunked in a few more coins and went downstairs to play with Legos.
Over the next few weeks, that jar has collected more and more coins and even a dollar bill!

Sometimes, us moms complain that ours is a thankless job. But, lo! A simple jar! Next time I feel sorry for myself, I’m going to use the money to buy myself some M&M’s.

I made five million scrabble tile pendants for the art boutiques I was in during the month of November and I only sold four million, so that is what I am giving away this month!
The winner will receive a collection of TEN cute little scrabble tile pendants with two different necklace options for mixing and matching.
I would like to send some that you’ll like, so in the comments, leave me 3 words that describe your personal style.
I will hand pick them just for you!

A comment is an entry. A comment with a link to show me that my button on your blog is two entries.
Contest ends Monday-ish.

(This is one of my favorites…so cute on a brown, leather cord)

EDIT: So, because some people had two entries, instead of using Random.org like I usually do, I printed out the comments and put them all in a bowl, then closed my eyes tight and pulled one out. The winner was #12 who said:

Anne { 01.07.10 at 7:49 am }
Just found your website. Have a butternut squash roasting right now, am getting ready to browse the rest of your site. My entry is a haiku:
Define me in three?
Broad strokes capture minutiae?
Fun, Organic, Cool

I loved the haiku entry too! Anne, e-mail me your street address and I will send your prize.
Thanks for the entries everyone. As always, there’s another giveaway next month…