A few days ago, I was looking for a particular photograph when I came across a picture of me that a friend took while we were on a bike ride last May. I audibly gasped when I saw it because it is a terrible picture of me. I look so fat in it. I’m a fatty on a bike.
Now, I know that people are not just their bodies, I know that my husband, children and friends loved me unconditionally, and I know that I was still a valuable person with talents to share with the world. I know.
But here’s what else I know:
If I saw someone I hadn’t seen in a while, my first inclination was to avoid them because I don’t want them to see how fat I’ve gotten.
Whenever I participated in an organized bike ride, I was sure the other riders were thinking, What is SHE doing here?
When I had photo shoots, I worried that the clients wouldn’t take me seriously because I was frumpy and fat.
I felt tired and weak.
I didn’t like how I felt, physically or mentally.
Then one day I saw on Facebook that a gym was giving away ten trial memberships to try their bootcamp for 12 weeks. I entered, because, why not? I’d tried everything else. (HCG? Yes! Lost 15 then gained it all back plus 8 more bonus pounds! Yay!).
I got picked for the opportunity to try this gym called Firehouse Fitness and even though I knew a few people who were members, I was nervous. Really nervous.
After my first workout, I came home and sat on the floor for two hours. I was spent. The next day, I could barely walk. I couldn’t lift my arms above my head and it hurt my abs to cut up a cantaloupe. Everything hurt. I was told that the best way to help myself was to workout again to get rid of the stiffness. So I did. It helped a little but I was sore everywhere for about two weeks.
I wondered why anyone would choose to do this regularly. It was brutal! But, I had committed to the 12 weeks so I kept going at least three times a week. For two months I ate smart, only ate dessert on Sundays and I didn’t lose a pound. Instead, I gained something better. I felt myself getting stronger. I could do things that on my first workout, I had found impossible. Every day that I would workout, my mood was so much better. It was wonderful, and I was hooked.
After the first two months, I did begin to drop weight. As of today, I am down 40 pounds. I still have more to go, but there’s no stopping me because I feel awesome!
I went on a bike ride with a friend today and had her snap a photo of me so I could compare it to the one from last May. I am in no way thinking I look like a supermodel, but I am so happy with my progress.
And here’s something else I know: I feel more like myself than I have in years.