Why can’t I be fat and happy?
Or, better stated: Why can’t I focus on my good traits, instead of obsessing about the bad ones?
I have been a total crabby patty for the past few weeks and one of the biggest contributors to my bad attitude is negative thinking about myself. I could make a list of things I wish I could change. Ok, so some of them I could change if I were so inclined, but apparently, I’m not. And other things are just part of who I am, so I should learn to accept them. Focus on things that I like about myself.
Words! These are just words.
It’s the doing that is hard.
I have been giving this quite a bit of thought, though and the other day I was looking for a document on my computer and I found a talk that I gave in church this past June. For some reason, I read it, and I was struck by a quote that I included by Elder Henry D. Moyle.
He said, “I have a conviction deep down in my heart that we are exactly what we should be, each one of us….I have convinced myself that we all have those peculiar attributes, characteristics, and abilities which are essential for us to possess in order that we may fulfill the full purpose of our creation here upon the earth…”
I love this quote. I love it because in between the lines, it’s message is one of self acceptance and love. It tells us that all of our traits, even the peculiar ones, have a purpose and that we are the way we are for a reason. That these traits are to help us fulfill our purpose on earth.
He goes on to say,
“…that allotment which has come to us from God is a sacred allotment. It is something of which we should be proud, each on of us in our own right, and not wish that we had somebody else’s allotment. Our greatest success comes from being ourselves.”
Did you really read that? I read it three times.
Now, while there are certain things that I do need to work on, I am actually ashamed of myself for focusing so entirely on them.
There are so many gifts I have been given that bring such happiness to my life. Things that I know how to do that actually bring me joy and a sense of accomplishment.
Shame on me for not being grateful for what I have.
And then I saw Nie Nie on Oprah. She was beautiful and sweet and inspiring. I sat there watching, even more ashamed of myself for worrying about something as stupid as my fat arse when she is so grateful for the opportunity to just live her life. To just be here so she can love her family, and share her many gifts with the people around her.
So, here’s to an attitude adjustment. A much needed shove in a better direction.
12 comments
My Dear Sweet Kelly
I wish you could see yourself the way that everyone else sees you. YOU are so PERFECT! You are BEAUTIFUL, SMART, LOVING, and SO,SO,SO TALENTED. I think you have it all. I am so grateful for our friendship. My life has been blessed by having you as a friend. You need to get up every morning, look in the mirror, and say I LOVE myself, and DAMN I look good. Soon You will feel great.
Love Ya!
That is such an interesting post, because as your friend, I look at you and think, ” Dang she’s got it going on and she knows it!” And then you post this and it blows me away. I’m with that Heidi friend of yours, you rocketh.
Thank you for posting that. I was a little depressed lately ’cause my boobs are so small and I wish I was more voluptuous…I had to laugh at myself because through my eyes your post said “why can’t I be flat and happy?” I realized it is all perspective. People look at me and think she is so lucky to be skinny….I look at them and think they are so lucky to be curvy. I’m gonna work on it.
Fat AND happy? Oh, wouldn’t it be nice. If only we lived a few hundred years ago…Mona Lisa sure doesn’t look like a stick figure. But, I hear what you’re saying (or is it “read what you’re posting”?) I dwell on the bad traits way too much. In fact – that’s kind of been my week lately. So, thank you for sharing your feelings and the quote. It’s so much easier said than done – but, best we can do is…do. I have to remind myself often that things could always be worse and I should be thankful for all the wonderful things in my life that I do have. I just hope that one of these days I don’t have to remind myself SOOO often…
[p.s. you seem amazingly talented in so many ways...I'm a bit jealous. ((my small attempt to make you feel better))]
Wow. Kelly, this post is one that I think EVERYONE, well at least every woman, can relate to. At least the being too hard on ourselves part. That quote is amazing and, I believe it to be true.
I was also touched by Nie and continue to be inspired by her, even more than I was before the accident. The joy she finds in the every day is a lesson I have always needed to learn and I feel I am finally getting it because of her.
I am inspired by you too. Your creativity and talent abounds. It is a trait I have not cultivated and I am in awe of you. You make life beautiful and you love your boys with a passion. You sound like you are an amazing friend. I think what you were allotted with is a desirable and enjoyable bundle of traits, even if the packaging isn’t what you want it to be. In short, I think you’re great!
I second Heidi’s and Anna’s comment, you rocketh! Who’d of thunk it? I know we all have our bad days, those days that we are hard on ourselves. You, on most given days, seem so confident and sure. I get your post though, I can relate…totally. Love the quotes too. AND, your right, there’s nothing like an inspiring story, like Nie Nie to prompt a good “get over your silliness” kick in the pants. Somedays I wish we could all see ourselves the way Heavenly Father sees us or even our friends. The view from their prospective surely must be clearer than our view of ourselves. It takes lots of practice and positive self talk to turn that view and shew away the clouds. Not only do I see a very talented lady when I look at you but your beauty runs deep. You are witty, and funny, and real, and kind, and fun, and caring, and giving, and brave, and there’s a depth to you that only comes with deep thinking, contemplation, and noticing the details. I could go on. I envy some of your traits. I’m sure your husband and MANY other friends could list more of your amazing qualities. (Although I don’t think you were fishing for compliments with this post.) Like I said, I can relate to your feelings. So, open your eyes girl…you got it going on! Own it!
That didn’t suck!
just sitting here smiling. you help me remember the MOST important things in life aren’t things, they are people. like you. I do remember your talk in June and that exact quote. That is a wall keeper
This is the exact thing that I’ve been struggling with for some time now. A combination of post-pregnancy weight and not really DOING anything with myself or whatever talents I have buried down there. So this is exactly what I needed. Not that it will be easy to remember… Maybe I will post in on my bathroom mirror….
Thank you for the link to Nie Nie. I had heard parts of the story but no follow up. Between your inspiring ( and so true for each of us) comments about how we see ourselves, the quotes from the talk, and Nie Nie stories I have left my home so grateful, so thankful for my little life. Thanks for helping my day start in such a positive way. Think what we could do in the world if each of us women walked out the door each day (or stayed home with our little ones ) with this kind of loving outlook. Talk about changing the world.
I love that quote. I think I’ll put that on my mirror and read it everyday to myself. Thanks!
remember me from your photography class…. The first time I ever met you I thought, “wow, she is really beautiful” … I really thought that, and I still do.
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