temporary insanity
I’m riddled with guilt. I totally lost it with my kids tonight.
Like, beyond reason, lost it.
I was actually crying and asking them to tell me when they were going to stop fighting and throwing fits and whining. I begged them to tell me when they will be able to be in a room together without it turning into screaming or punching or both.
They stared at me. Stunned into silence (which was actually nice).
So I left them and went into my bedroom to hide away with my dog. She is, after all, the most well-behaved of my children. Dogs count. Don’t tell me they don’t count.
So, then Kelly D. came home and when I told him about my evening, he asked, “Well, don’t you remember doing that with your brother? I totally remember fighting with my siblings like that.”
Mom? Is this true? Seriously? Did I fight with my brother ALL THE TIME?
And will someone please tell me that I am not the only mother to have an episode like this? I could really use a comrade.
20 comments
Well maybe not ALL the time, but very frequently, and yes I would totally lose it and cry and go to my room or somewhere where I could be alone in my insanity. I would like someone to step forward who hasn’t had that experience.
Yes my dear… been there… done that… not so proud of myself either! Glad you had the sense to put yourself in time out! That’s a good girl! Yeah.. sibling “discussions” have been around for eons of time! Funny thing is… when they grow up, their siblings will be their best friends! I know mine are…and I have 9 of them! I don’t know what I’d do without them. I think the rough times as a kid, makes you appreciate them even more as an adult… hang in there.. this too shall pass! You are an awesome mom! Maybe you need to throw a baby girl in there… I’m just sayin…
LOVE YOU!
My kids are pretty well behaved but constantly argue about stupid things, and yes I have sooo had that kind of break down. Do not worry!! They tell me that someday we will miss the sound of kids fighting and long for the noise, noise, noise!(sorry grinch moment) as for when I was younger our fights were legendary, broken double plate windows, doors off their hinges, put siblings in the laundry shoot. But yes now we are great friends and can completely laugh about it now. But my mom is still rocking in the corner in a nervous sorta way…..jk she’s fine!!! Plus tis the season to go crazy a little bit! Don’t be so hard on yourself!
I think the better question would be, who hasn’t done such a thing. Have you ever seen me just sitting in my car…that would be the reason. It’s quiet out there and I can lock the kids out and it gives me a longer escape than just locking the door to the bathroom. There are no little voices at the door or fingers creeping under the door. Relish the quiet moments at home when they are all off to school, build up your reserves for when they come home and if they get too out of control…send them outside to play in the snow. I say to all Moms…HANG IN THERE!
I have completely flipped out before. My kids told me one time that I needed anger management! Well what about them, geez:) Sometimes the fighting just gets to be too much, or them not listening to me. I constantly hear “your breathing too loud, sniff, stop moving around, your chewing too loud, don’t touch me”. Does it ever stop? Hang in there. I think you are a great mom, but, just know that we have all had our moments of “temporary insanity”! Lets start a club!:)
I second Christy’s notion. Anyone who says they haven’t flipped out like that either doesn’t have more than one child or is lying. My solution??? I’m asking Santa for a padded, sound-proof room that I can hunker down in when *I* need a time out
You’re a great mom, hang in there 
I’m from an all girl household, but we still fought. When I was super young I made my sister my slave, making her get and do everything for me. My cousin and I used to do all sorts of mean “Older people” things to her. I once told my OTHER little sister that if she didn’t eat peanut butter (still hates it and gets hives) the cops would come take me away. She didn’t. And I packed up a bag, walked outside and around the house to spy on her. She was singing a song and crying as she looked out the window.
The guilt on that one is pretty strong.
But! We got older. And wiser. Don’t worry! And you’re a fabulous mom.
I have regular meltdowns and they all seem to revolve around fighting and having to ask my kids 3, 497, 652 times to do their regular jobs. I swear that my kids fight more around this time of year. I think it has to do with excitement for the holidays and being cooped up in the same space a lot more!
Boys are ruthless. Mine wrestle until they draw blood. They are very into making sure the get even with each other. So I yell. I’m not proud of it, but it gets their attention. Unfortunately sometimes its about all that gets their attention. My siblings fought a lot. I would recluse to my room when I was overwhelmed by my family, which is ironic now that they are so far away and I miss being with them so much. The boys will become men and cherish each other, and the memories of driving their mom crazy
You are SO not alone. I think every mother has done this and if she said she hasn’t…. she is lying!
Yes. Ditto. I hear ya. I feel ya.
there must be something wrong with you because my kids never fight or bug each other. kidding, i just wanted to say something different:). man, that would be hard to have 3 boys. i’m sure you’ve tried everything, but remember when my dad used to make us (my sister’s and i) kiss on the lips 100 times if we were fighting? well he did, and we HATED it! it was sick and a little disturbing, but it got us to stop. either that or we didn’t fight where he could see/hear us- which is what you’re going for anyway right? i don’t know, give it a try.
No, you’re not alone. Yes, I have completely lost it with my boys. Yes, I have screamed and shouted at them. Yes, I have cried and told them it was their fault. Yes, my boys fight (although they are getting a bit better now that my youngest is at school). Yes, I have shut/locked myself in the bathroom or my bedroom while my kids continued to kill each other downstairs. No, you’re not alone. HUGS!
If there is a mom out there who doesn’t admit to multiple days like this she is lying. I have followed your blog for some time and can tell you are an excellent mom, and your boys are very lucky. I hope you have a better day tomorrow!
You know how we have talked about those moments that happen and we get all stressed/freaked out about it, but that we have to just let it happen? I have taken this approach when my kids fight. Well, more like when Alexis torments her brother and sister. And since I am an only child and didn’t have any siblings to fight with, when there is chaos of fighting ringing through my house, I just think – this is what brothers and sisters do, and I let it happen. But sometimes I intervene, and I make them sit face to face with their foreheads and noses touching for at least 1 minute straight. And the arguing turns into laughing.
I went postal on my kids just last night. Mother’s guilt is torture.
I’m surprised my younger brother and I both survived childhood in one piece. We used to beat each other up and get in the biggest fights.
And now we’re friends
My boys are currently not allowed to touch each other. Need I say more?
I can’t count the time I’ve said those same words. Word for word. I swear. After the FIRST TIME, it shut them up so good to see me cry that I’m beginning to thing that guilting them into my will is actually a viable option… is that bad?
Um. Thank you. Thank you for that post. I SO HAVE BEEN THERE. Oh, and I secretly want to work for you so I can come to your annual work party. Looks wonderful
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