a little story

I was boycotting Costco for a while. They made me mad. I even e-mailed the company to complain. Turns out, they are Costco and they don’t care about my piddly complaints. So, I quit going, let my membership expire and tried to forget about the great cheese prices and the giant packs of AA batteries.
I cheated a few times, and had friends buy stuff for me there. Lemons, garlic, books. After about five months, I decided that they were not going to come crawling back to me any time soon and I was only hurting myself. I caved and renewed my membership, and can I just tell you that it felt so good to be back in that store!
So yesterday, I made a trip there. I had a few things on my list: cheese, light bulbs, eggs, rotisserie chicken, Mickey Mouse-shaped-chicken nuggets… you know, basics. I was shopping alone (yay!) so I was in and out in record time. After I loaded my purchases into my truck, and was pushing my cart to the front of the store, I heard a man’s voice say, “Hey! Ma’am!”
I turned to see an elderly man parked nearby smiling and waving at me.
He said, “You’ve got something on your bottom!”
I paused to make sure he was talking to me. He was. With a big smile, again, he said, “You’ve got something on your bottom!”
I was a little embarrassed, and reached around to brush off my backside. I remember thinking, Why is this creepy, smiley, old dude checking out my butt?
Since I didn’t feel anything on my bottom, I just continued on pushing my cart to the front of the store, all the while trying to think if I sat down on something dirty, or did I use a bathroom and have toilet paper hanging out of my pants.
That persistent old guy then said even louder, “Hey ma’am! You’ve got something on your bottom!”
Then it hit me.
Oh. Right. The bottom of my cart.
Sure enough, there was my rotisserie chicken.
I smiled and waved and said, “Thanks.” Sorry for thinking you were a creepy old guy staring at my backside.